“Dating, love, and marriage are far more complicated than self-proclaimed experts would have us believe. Statistics can show all kinds of trends, but ultimately, life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness (in a relationship) is the province of each individual.”
I am perplexed and really to be honest, pissed off as to why our male dominated society wants us to believe that women are the only ones who so desperately want to get married and start families. I might not be the girl who constantly dreams about or speaks about the day that she wants to join this institution but I am not completely opposed to the idea of marriage if it is done right. My rant really has to do one with the many magazine articles, movies, and books out sharing advice about what we as women need to do to make sure that he proposes or the kinds of positions that we need to make in bed to make sure that he sticks around to propose. ARE YOU SERIOUS???? Two, it has to do with the fact that at the end of the day, relationships are personal. No one knows what happens between two people except the two people! Oscar Wilde said it best; only the people in the relationship know whether the other person is singing a song only they can hear! So, why listen to supposedly married chauvinistic men (or women) whom in the name of capitalism to self-advance are writing books giving you useless advice on how YOUR relationship will work when they don’t even know who you are, where you come from, your understanding of the world, perspectives, societal class, affiliations, education. Whatever!
I am sure there MUST be plenty of books and columns out there giving advice to men, “MAN TO MAN,” on how to screw their girlfriends to keep them around and of course advice on how to know that they are FINALLY READY to pop the big question! Compared to the attention and mumbo jumbo that women receive, its NOTHING and really, it’s a BIG JOKE. I saw on a friends Facebook status today, “Note To Women: Stop settling for being the girlfriend forever when God purposed you to be a wife. After 2-4 years make a decision #CommitOrQuit #DateWithaPurpose” and the first thing that came to my mind is this was ABSOLUTE BULLSH** because “at the end of the day, its not only women who are asking for and wanna get married! People are people and people should get in relationships, get engaged, get married etc when its right, professionally, emotionally, spiritually, for both of them and WHEN THEY WANT TO. That readiness to be with this person on a long term basis could happen for many reasons in just one year or could be six years or more!” Unfortunately, what this hype does is give women (because they are the ones who are at the forefront of this media frenz) expectations for their relationships (like those silly princess Disney movies), which might not work between themselves and the person they are with. I mean where it he NOTE: to the men and to society for perpetuating this foolishness????
At end of the day, I hold on to my philosophy that as people, men and women, its important that through communication and observation we talk about when and if we want to be in a relationship, whether we want to get engaged and if its right for the both of us! If someone proposes when he or she can clearly see that their significant other is emotionally, spiritually, professionally shoo or even physically not ready, then whether you love the other person more than words can describe, feel free to say no because clearly they were not paying attention and listening! This relationship advice propaganda is too much for everyone and it is especially detrimental to women because of the many hidden patriarchal elements. If we do not take the time to think about what we read and it implies we will continue to perpetually assist in the creation of a society, which is forever going to treat women as second-class citizens who can only be and feel, when the person that they are with (THE MAN), tell them and allows them to! We’ve really gotta check the things that we support and look at the overall picture with critical perspectives that will allow our society to become one which we all can stand free and mighty proclaiming “I’ll get married or NOT when I wanna get married OR NOT.”